I chuckled. (Seen in west Cleveland.)
Writing with kids
On Twitter, @_lisli asked:
Any tips for handling working, small baby/child care, and still doing/making things you enjoy?
Here’s what I tweeted back, lightly edited, short and sweet:
1) Nobody does it alone. (Anyone who says they do is lying.) Get help. Scheduled time away from kids OUT OF THE HOUSE to write. Look for fellowships for young parents who are artists.
2) Train yourself to get up before the kids and work. (I’ve never understood Night Owls, but I imagine they could stay up after they’re in bed.)
3) Put this post-it somewhere:
4) Consider putting off bigger projects until you’re out of tiny ones age (keep a diary or a sketchbook)
5) Ask other parents you admire. (I’m still learning!!) Read these books for inspiration.
That’s all I know, really.
Oh, one other thing: DON’T KILL THEM.
Parenting advice from my father-in-law, never bested or improved: “You’re gonna want to throw them out the window. The important thing is that you don’t.”
I do not consider myself a “great” parent (or a writer, for that matter). I’m just an amateur who shows up. A student, learning. I stick with it. It’s all you can do.
As Michael Chabon put it in Manhood For Amateurs: “The handy thing about being a father is that the historic standard is so pitifully low.”
You’ve got to be tough
I’ve had this magnet on my refrigerator for years, but I love the way the sticker looks in a car window with the (West Cleveland) sky reflected…
Being a parent is like being an artist
Jerry Saltz, in “How To Be An Artist”:
As artist Laurel Nakadate has observed, being a parent is already very much like being an artist. It means always lugging things around, living in chaos, doing things that are mysterious or impossible or scary. As with art, children can drive you crazy all day, make you wish all this could go away. Then in a single second, at any point, you are redeemed with a moment of intense, transformative love.
I like this version, too::
“Art and kids are very similar: You have to lug stuff around, your home is always a mess, you never know what’s coming next, you are horrified by what you’ve done, and then you’re redeemed by a burst of transformative love.”
Above image: a painting by Erik Westra’s girls. (He gave them a “24-hour pass” to cover the walls before a home renovation). Below: a painting by the great Cy Twombly.
Tomas Tranströmer at the piano
Here’s a video of Swedish poet Tomas Tranströmer playing the piano just a few years before he died, accompanied by an early recording of him reading his poem, “Allegro.”
I play Haydn after a black day
and feel a simple warmth in my hands.The keys are willing. Soft hammers strike.
You’ll notice he’s only playing with his left hand: he suffered a stroke in 1990, at age 59, and lost the use of his right arm. (It also took out much of his ability to speak.) From his NYTimes obit:
Mr. Transtromer’s poetry production slowed after his stroke, but he took refuge in music, playing the piano with just his left hand. As a testament to his prominence in Sweden, several composers there wrote pieces for the left hand specifically for him.
There’s actually a whole subgenre of piano music composed or arranged for the left hand alone. Brahms arranged some Bach works for Clara Schumann after she suffered a hand injury. Paul Wittgenstein (older brother of the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein) commissioned several works after his right arm was amputated in the First World War. Benjamin Britten, Sergei Prokofiev, Richard Strauss, and Maurice Ravel all wrote compositions for him. (Most famous being Ravel’s “Piano Concerto for the Left Hand.”)
But back to Tranströmer: we’re Wintering in the North this season, so I brought along my copy of The Deleted World, which I bought several years ago (at the recommendation of Nicole) and never cracked until now. Here’s a beautiful verse:
In the middle of life, death comes
to take your measurements. The visit
is forgotten and life goes on. But the suit
is being sewn on the sly.
And here’s a beautiful verse from “Preludes,” quoted by Teju Cole at the beginning of his appreciation for the poet (although I prefer this May Swenson translation):
Two truths approach each other
One comes from within,
one comes from without — and where they meet you have the chance
to catch a look at yourself.
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