I’m reading Amy Sillman’s Faux Pas and when I was searching her name in the Podcasts app I came across this conversation with writer Sheila Heti:
SHEILA HETI: With my novels… at a certain point I just have to do the thing that I absolutely don’t want to do, that’s going to embarrass me, or that’s going to make me feel like I’m doing something bad. I think there’s always this feeling when I’m making a book that I’m doing something wrong or I’m doing something bad or I’m going to get in trouble. I guess I must like that feeling in some way, because it’s always there. Do you feel that same way?
AMY SILLMAN: Oh totally. I always say that I feel like I start the painting and then I push it until it gets into trouble. And then getting the painting out of trouble is the painting. Bringing it back from a series of terrible accidents and paths it shouldn’t go down.
I’m reminded of Bernard Suits’ definition of playing a game, which is also my favorite definition of art-making: “the voluntary attempt to overcome unnecessary obstacles.”